How to Help

According to CHILD USA, men aren’t able to talk about surviving sexual abuse until about 30 years after it has occurred. Odds are, you know a man with this traumatic experience who keeps it hidden—for now.

Why do male survivors so rarely seek professional treatment or effective peer support?

Men need to fight through many barriers:

• Mental Health Stigma
Seeking mental health support is still frowned upon. 

• Sexual abuse stigma
Few people want to think about the sexual abuse of children or feel the strong feelings attached to such horrific acts. Men are further alienated by shame.

• Institutional denial
Institutions want to protect their power and reputation, so the first reaction to allegations of sexual abuse is often damage control.  

• Male socialization
“Be strong; showing feelings is weak,” is the message men have gotten.  

• Gender myths around sexual abuse
Victims of sexual abuse hear false messages about their abuse, such as the myth that men become monsters if they were abused. Men might fear sharing the truth and the pain.

What can you do?

• Listen to men’s stories
To share what was done to them, men need someone with whom they feel safe. 

• Normalize feelings
To release feelings is natural and healing, so don’t stop boys and men from sharing them. 

• Believe survivors
Accept survivors’ stories and respond with empathy.

• Advocate for services in your spheres of influence
We are all part of families, neighborhoods, work spaces, and faith and social organizations. Speak up and educate others.